Discover 9 subtle signs of self-centred individuals that most people miss, and how they impact relationships.
Have you ever met someone who always makes things about themselves without even realizing it? Maybe you’ve caught yourself doing the same thing. Self-centred people don’t always know they are behaving this way; it’s often unconscious. But these behaviours can harm relationships and create distance between friends, family, or co-workers. In this article, we’ll explore nine behaviours that self-centred people often overlook. By understanding these signs, you can reflect on your own actions or recognize them in others, helping build better relationships.
1. Turning Every Conversation Back to Themselves
Have you ever had a conversation where, no matter what you say, the other person always finds a way to bring the topic back to them? For instance, you might be telling a story about a difficult week, and before you finish, they interrupt to talk about how their week was even worse. They probably don’t do this to be rude—they’re just focused on their own experiences. This is a classic sign of self-centred individuals. It often leaves others feeling unheard, as if their feelings or thoughts don’t matter.
Real-life example: Imagine you’re sharing a story about your vacation, but your friend cuts in to talk about their vacation instead. While they may think they’re just relating to you, what they’re really doing is making it all about them.
2. Struggling to Acknowledge Other People’s Feelings
People who are self-centred often have trouble putting themselves in others’ shoes. They might know you’re upset, but they don’t seem to truly understand why. For example, if a friend tells them about a bad day at work, instead of offering support, they might say, “Oh, that’s nothing, let me tell you what happened to me!” They may not mean to dismiss your feelings, but their inability to empathize is one of the key signs of self-centeredness.
This lack of empathy can create emotional distance because their responses feel shallow or disconnected. Self-cantered people focus on how situations affect them, not how they impact others.
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3. Taking Credit for Teamwork
Have you ever worked hard on a group project, only to have one person take most of the credit? Self-cantered individuals often do this because they genuinely believe their contribution was the most important. They’re more likely to highlight their own role in the success while downplaying everyone else’s effort. This behaviour shows their need to be recognized above others, which can cause resentment among team members.
Real-life example: Think of that co-worker who always jumps at the chance to talk about how they “saved the day” during a big project, even though the whole team worked hard. This is one of those personality flaws that can make others feel undervalued.
4. Avoiding Blame or Criticism
Nobody likes to be criticized, but self-centred people take it to another level. They might deflect blame when something goes wrong or refuse to accept any responsibility. For example, if they’re late to a meeting, they might blame traffic, even though they left the house late. This habit of shifting blame helps them protect their self-image, but it creates tension in relationships because it shows they can’t own up to their mistakes.
Real-life example: Let’s say a friend forgot your birthday and instead of simply apologizing, they make excuses like, “I had so much going on.” This behaviour shows their unwillingness to accept fault.
5. Believing Their Needs Are More Important
Self-cantered people often assume their needs should come first. This can be seen in situations where they expect others to accommodate their schedule, preferences, or desires without considering what others might want. For example, they might insist on choosing the restaurant every time, or expect everyone to adjust plans around their availability.
Real-life example: Picture someone who always expects their friends to meet at their favorite café, even if others have different preferences. They think their needs should be prioritized, which reflects their egoistic habits.
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6. Only Helping Others When It Benefits Them
Have you noticed some people are only helpful when it benefits them? For example, a self-centred person might offer to help you move, but only if they’re free afterward to get help with something they need. Their acts of kindness often come with strings attached, as they expect something in return.
Real-life example: Think of a friend who offers to give you a ride, but then reminds you later that you “owe them one.” Their help isn’t genuine—it’s a transaction. This shows their selfish tendencies.
7. Feeling Jealous of Others’ Success
Instead of celebrating others’ achievements, self-centred people often feel threatened by them. They might downplay someone else’s success or shift the attention back to their own achievements. This jealousy stems from insecurity—they worry that someone else’s success somehow makes them look less important.
Real-life example: Imagine you tell a friend you got a promotion, but instead of congratulating you, they say something like, “Well, I’ve been really busy with my own project.” They can’t stand the idea of someone else outshining them, revealing their narcissistic traits.
8. Disrespecting Boundaries
Personal space and boundaries are essential for healthy relationships, but self-centred individuals often struggle to respect them. They might call or text at inconvenient times, show up uninvited, or assume you’re always available for them. They fail to recognize that others need space and time apart.
Real-life example: Think of a friend who constantly shows up at your house without calling first, expecting you to drop everything for them. This lack of respect for your time and boundaries is a sign of self-centeredness.
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9. Caring More About Appearance Than Substance
For many self-centred people, how they are perceived by others is more important than who they really are. They may focus excessively on their looks, status, or material possessions, believing these things define their worth. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good or be successful, self-centred people take it to an extreme, often neglecting deeper connections in favour of superficial ones.
Real-life example: Picture someone who is more concerned with posting the perfect selfie on social media than with spending quality time with their friends. Their obsession with external validation highlights their narcissistic traits.
Recognizing these subtle signs of self-centred behaviour can help us better understand ourselves and those around us. It’s easy to overlook these traits because they often fly under the radar, but identifying them is the first step towards change. If you see any of these behaviors in yourself, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself: Do I make room for others in conversations? Do I help without expecting something in return? Am I truly listening when others speak, or am I just waiting for my turn to talk?
Becoming more aware of how your actions impact others is key to building stronger, more empathetic relationships. Take the time to consider whether you’re acting out of self-interest or if you’re genuinely supporting the people around you. It’s never too late to become more self-aware and start improving how you interact with the world.